Goodbye my love, Lena@MW!

A lots of people talked about Lena recently, and here's mine. I first saw her in Oct 2015, and I was addicted to her immediately!  She's very quiet, and she rarely speaks, but that didn't bother me.  I think she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen (face and body), and I totally fell in love with her.  I then kept seeing her almost every week, and I always saw her for 1 hour (even though I can never make my 2nd shot ). I had a very good time with her, and I think she also enjoyed our sessions.  I'm not a rich guy, but I tried my very best to save my time and money to see her whenever possible.  A lots of people said she's cold, but that wasn't the case for me..... until last month. One day in December, I wanted to see her again, but I had a very busy work schedule on that day, and I could only squeeze 30 minutes to see her.  I went into her room, I was happy, and she was happy when she saw me.  Then she texted her boss, and she looked at her phone, confusingly and asked "1 hour?".  I told her no, and I could only do 30 minutes this time.  That's when everything went downhill!  She didn't seem too happy about it, and all the funs that we had in the previously sessions were disappeared all of a sudden.  I think she was disappointed, and I could feel that she didn't enjoy the session.  I appologized to her at the end of the session, and she just coldly replied me "that's OK". I think I was the most stupid person on earth!  I felt extremely bad for making her upset/disappointed, and it was heart breaking for me.  I had a very good time with her previously, and I stupidly ruined everything myself by making a damn 30-minute session!  If I knew she would be that upset, I would definitely not do that, and I would just pick another day to see her (for 1 hour).  I regretted so much.  I hate myself! 1 week later, I saw her again (for 1 hour, of course).  When she opened the door, she didn't seem too happy to see me.  I appologized to her (again) about last session, and I explained to her that I was really busy that day and I really couldn't do a 1 hour session.  She didn't seem to care about me anymore, and it really hurt me.  She was so cold, and I was trying so hard to make her happy, but I still failed.  She just did the routine moves, and she probably wanted to kick me out asap.  After the 1st shot, she lied down besides me, without speaking anything.  I could tell that she was tired, so I told her to sleep, and I just did a 25 minutes massage for her to end the session.  I know nothing about massage, so I probably did a terrible job, LOL.  But I tried my best to comfort her.  I think she was really tired (and probably sick) on that day, and I had no problem wasting almost half of the session.  At that time I just wanted her to relax and forgive me. After the shower, she kissed me goodbye.  She hugged me tightly at the door, and she said I was nice, and she seem to appreciate my effort.  I was finally relived.  I told her not to work too hard, and take a day off if she's really not feeling well.  I told her I would see her again, and she nodded her head.  Seeing my princess suffering really hurt my heart.  But what could I do? I sadly left her unit, and I was hoping the next session will be improved. Then I made another 1 hour appointment with her again this week.  I thought she forgave me at the end of last session, and I was hoping all the good times we previously had would come back.  I missed her so much, and I was so excited to see her again.  I spent over 1 hour and made myself nice and clean before the appointment.  I just couldn't wait to see her. When she opened the door, she still had the same cold look when she saw me.  I tried so hard to break the ice, and she's just not interested on me anymore no matter what I do or say.  She did perform all the routine stuffs during the session, but I could feel that I was already out of her mind . I was so sad/depressed after the session.  I knew my fantasy/bubble is totally burst, and there's no hope that she'll like me again.  However, all the good times that we had were just so memorable, and I'll never forget them.  I just can't stop thinking about her!  I didn't see anyone else after the 1st session with her in October, and my feeling about her is so strong.  I just can't get her out of my head!  I know she's leaving soon, and I really want to see her again before she leaves.  She's so beautiful, and I'm totally in love with her!  I don't know what to do.  My heart is so fragile, and I don't know if I can take another hit from her. I still can't believe I was so stupid and ruined everything myself!  Maybe she was just tired in the last few sessions and thus the coldness?  Maybe she'll forgive me if I see her again?  Maybe...